Recently my son related a simple situation in a scientific program on PBS.
The “scientwists” were walking in a desolate rocky area, when suddenly, one of them spied a rock that had been “chipped” in such a fashion (pre-arrowhead) that it MUST have had human (or humanoid) intervention to be like that. This was considered a terrific FIND!!!!!
THIS???? THIS is what MUST have had some type of intentional intervention? Forgive me, but I am truly under-whelmed at their lack of insight. Not even a scientwist will believe that a simple wooden structure with a roof ( a house) could EVER just spring into being…or that trees will just naturally evolve into a house…it is ridiculous.
They will look at people, at trees, at animals and surmise…" This sprang into being from the primordial soup and then evolved into all the wondrous things in our world”…but the partially chipped rock--THAT must have had an intelligent intervention…no other possibility.

In any sort of logical thinking, one would have to have a great deal of evolutional faith (for faith it must be, as it remains unproven by scientific method) to embrace the idea that every level of living being from single cell to mankind (the REAL terminology for “human”) somehow formed from goop and some other unexplained magical chemical reactions; then to CONTINUE to “live”, had to progress to a point where it could inter-relate with others (who also “popped” into being). Mind you, flowers (for example) had to “figure out” their color, shape, scent, blossoming period…etc. in order to ATTRACT a SIMILARLY evolving entity--and ALL these things had to be done in time for the entities to be able to REPRODUCE for the next "generation of evolution". Yes, I can see how having FAITH in a Creator is so difficult.

Anything we make with our hands (including those things we manufacture with machines) the “scientwists” will ogle with sheer delight. Those things CREATED by my CREATOR, however, they will look upon and try to explain their existence with pure drivel.


When does one ever go to an amusement park and stand in awe of how wonderful that those amazing rides just sprang into being knowing that if they were colorful enough, and fast enough, with lights and music, PEOPLE would be drawn to them by the droves?
When do we look at a castle in England and are astonished at how awful life must have been until it suddenly appeared?
When we pack our family in the car and take a trip to see Mount Rushmore it isn’t because Mount Rushmore suddenly appeared in finished form.
No, we are amazed at the “creators” of these non-living things, that can easily disappear over time. (Or that we can determine to tear down or destroy at our will.)

I, not being a “scientwist”, need to look no farther than my own body or a tree, or a nest in the tree, to KNOW that their MUST be a Creator of these things. There MUST be an intelligent (super-intelligent) force (with a specific determination for the outcome of the creation) behind these things. The chipped rock--well, I can buy the theory that it MUST have a creator too. I’m sorry for those who can’t see the forest for the trees.




Another thing that has been on my mind of late, is the idea that if evolution were the real deal, then anyone who tried to get well, would be violating the principles of evolution. Going to a doctor would be interfering with the survival of the fittest, wouldn’t it? Everyone is on their own. If they live, they live, if not, so much the better, as the “gene pool” would lose the frailty. I’m not sure, but I think that we would have to live in a lawless society to make room for evolution. Because the main aim in evolution is to “worship” self above all else, how dare we tell someone they can’t have something they want or feel they need. It’s a “self-eat-self” world out there in evolution. There is very little reason to concern one’s-self with other’s well-being. Who knows what greatness humans would achieve if we just let natural evolution take over! Why, the world would be without sickness--any “bad“ gene would die off, without poverty--there is no economic system--take what you want, when you want, without a living soul! Oh yeah, that part. Man became a LIVING SOUL when God breathed the Breath of Life into him. Not to mention the fact that man was created in HIS (meaning God’s) IMAGE.




When I was struggling as a teen, thinking about all the different ’religions’ of the world, and why I should be a Christian--follower of Christ, I investigated other religions. I asked my mother why she had settled on following Christ above all the other choices. Her answer was simple. She explained that supposing that Christianity (Christ) was false, that even so, the lifestyle one would adhere to, based on Biblical teachings, would STILL bring the most blessings to anyone’s life, that it was a good moral code--even without Christ in it, but then giving Christ His proper place in one’s life would give everything a reason and a meaning. [If someone lives life according to Christian principle--even without Christ--they will lead a “good” life--not a SAVED life, but a good life.
With Christ there is REDEMPTION. With REDEMPTION the love and care for others, in Christ’s name, follows. ]




The teachings in the Bible are True…following Christ is Truth. “True”, in and of itself, is not necessarily good or bad--“Truth” is what sets you free.

The Golden Ring and the Armani Suit--definitely NOT a case of The Gift of the Magi

Since we have pre-empted this season of Rejoicing in Our Savior’s Birth with much ado about “exchanging gifts” and over-eating and other indulgences, I would like to take this opportunity to explore this idea we have about the perfect gift for everyone on our list.

Of course, that is impossible, and I am truly grateful when anyone chooses to recognize me with a gift, but I am constantly amazed at how difficult it really is to get inside someone else’s head and heart and be able to thrill them.


The thing about gift giving that I never liked was really the receiving part where you are taught to receive all gifts with a smile and hearty “Thank You”.

I can agree with this to a certain extent, but when it comes to spouses, family and close friends…we really need to pay attention.

It may surprise many that I should feel this way, but I think many people are careless in their gift giving decisions, and the feelings and lifestyle of the receiver are, haphazardly, if at all taken into consideration. Sometimes I wonder if some folks are just trying to “improve” me in some way…for instance when they feel the need to “gift me” with make-up. I have decided for many reasons, not to wear make-up, at least very little. One reason is that I tend to be allergic to even hypo-allergenic make-up. I try to make this fact known to my family and friends, so what am I to think when I receive this as gifts?
Are they trying to tell me “Hey, you look every bit your age and more, so it’s about time you did something about it--after all--WE are the ones who have to LOOK at you!” Or perhaps they are saying more about themselves, that the gift(s) they give are on the order of what THEY would be very pleased to receive. For myself, I go out of my way to purchase UNSCENTED everything. At times even the laundry soap or softener makes me feel like I can’t breath, so forgive me if my smile and delight is a bit feigned. I have to open and sniff the household cleaners to see if I will be able to tolerate the scent without progressing to the inability to breath or a migraine or whatever else intolerances my body chooses to respond to. Scented candles are wonderful to me, for about 5 minutes and I can’t take it anymore. I realize it sounds like I am looking a gift horse in the mouth, and I guess I am.


I can’t expect that every person in my life know this stuff about me, but I should expect my closest family members and even more so, my SPOUSE, should know me.

I must tell a family “secret” of a gift I received from my husband many years ago, when we were newlyweds.

I think that if he and his family had not built it up so highly for weeks, about how thrilled I would be with this gift, I probably would have gratefully received this gift and showed the proper respect. Ladies, I think you will be shocked to learn the gift that I received (and was very unhappy about) was a RING! (A gold ring--funny that I prefer silver)

It was a nice pleasant style and had a simple design, and was not hideous or anything…it was a very nice gift…for someone else. The fact that I had been set up for so many weeks, by his entire family--whom I later learned helped to pick out the gift--which only made matters worse, because not only was I in hot water with my husband, but also with his two sisters and his MOM!!

I was very excited as I began to open the package, and did my best to feign the exuberance they were expecting, but couldn’t hide the tears--which were obviously not tears of joy. Why did I cry? If this was my husband’s idea of the “perfect gift” for his bride, then we obviously had a HUGE communication problem, and he didn’t really know me at all.

Did they not notice that I rarely wore my wedding ring--which btw was a ring from MY Great Grandmother--I liked the older style of it and wishing to have “antique” wedding rings, we asked my family if I could have the ring. My husband NEVER got a wedding band. I was too afraid that his work (as a mechanic) would cause him to lose a finger, and since I had taken Grecco-Roman History was well aware that the wedding band was originally a pagan practice, I would have been just as happy “jumping the broom” and felt every bit as married. And my husband knew that.

I guess, since it was supposed to be some sort of tradition in my husband’s family (which I was never informed of) that I was being accepted into my husband’s family as “one of them”…never found that out until well after my tears exposed me as ungrateful. “Why, any woman would be happy to receive such a fine gift from their husband!!!” I got that from everyone, except those who really know me…

I suppose the fact that I was a dealer of collectible COSTUME jewelry, and had a few pieces of HISTORICAL interest to me, might have confused the issue a bit. I am into history, not jewelry. I APPRECIATE fine jewelry, on other people, and in a museum…not on myself as a general rule.

I won’t go into the “bloody details” of our ensuing arguments and the hurt feelings on both sides…

Then I promised my husband that I would do for him, what he had done for me.

I promised to get him one of the finest gifts he would ever get. I promised that I would bring in my whole family and tell him for weeks just how great a gift this would be and how happy he would be. (Basically I was “promising” to get even…which I am not saying is one of my more shining moments.)

I told him I would show him the way to please a spouses heart with my gift to him. After days and days of my building up what a perfect gift it would be (mind you I had NO INTENTION WHATSOEVER of actually purchasing it) I asked him if he wanted a hint…

I told him how much it would cost, and that it was very fine. Eventually, I told him what it would be…an Armani 3 piece suit! You should know that my husband had 3 hound dogs, was an avid hunter and fisherman, loved camping, was employed as a mechanic, and the hound dogs usually had top priority as he had them before I came into the picture!

He looked at me as if I were crazy…what would he do with an Armani suit?, he asked, incredulously, and (wait for it …) “OHHHHHH!” He had an “aha” moment.

The fact that my husband wears ONLY western cut Wranglers--and for very special occasions (like our wedding!) --in a color other than indigo, and has no occasion to wear a 3 piece suit, nor would ever want to…he FINALLY understood. At least that a gift needs to embrace the world of the receiver to be considered a good and proper gift.

Over the years, my husband has felt intimidated about gift giving to me, but he has generally mastered the art. Grow flowers for me in the yard, which I can enjoy daily, is preferred over purchased flowers which soon die and seem such a waste. A jar of catclaw honey is more important than a box of fine chocolates. An oversized mixing bowl that could hold the cookies or breads that I enjoyed baking. A DVD of an old black and white movie that makes me cry…the good kind of tears. And I am even happy when I get something like a blender or a mixer or towels, not very personal, but something that might make my household chores a little less stressed.

I love it when my husband shows he really knows who I am…and he is thrilled when he gets camouflage (just about anything) and some Coleman fuel for his hunting trips.

And just because I know my husband, doesn’t mean I know everything. Only a few years ago I learned that he loves tulips! So I bought him some tulip bulbs for the flower garden.

I especially like when we exchange “stumbled upon” gifts for each other. One day, recently, my husband came home with a NASCAR racing cap for me, and I had “stumbled upon” a photograph of a bobcat kitten in a tree by a fine photographer. (Cutest cat you ever saw.) They were not HUGE gifts, but they said so much. They said that we KNOW the other one’s HEART. And that is a pretty big gift…

It’s all in how you frame it……..

Like well-framed paintings and photographs, how we frame events in our minds will help us (or hurt us) in our desire to make sound choices for our families.



As an example:
When I was a very new mother, with little sleep, I complained to my Grandmother how many wet diapers I had been changing. (We were using cloth diapers.) My Grandmother stopped me almost in mid-sentence. “My dear,” she said, “Just think how awful it would be if those diapers WERE dry! Wet diapers are a sign of good health, that things are on the right track, so don’t complain about it…be very glad!”



I am so grateful to her for saying that to me. She reframed my thoughts and I looked at the tedious experience with a little more understanding. How desperate I would be if those diapers weren’t wet, as it would mean there was something very WRONG.


I was foolishly looking at the situation in a selfish, unthinking manner. Had I let that foolishness continue, resentment would have built in me, subconsciously, and it surely would have worked it’s way through our growing relationship and bonding with my child.

Blank Space………..

If you have ever done any advertising, especially print ads, you are well aware of the importance of blank space. Too much “ink” and the visual “noise” will not draw you into the ad. It will be deemed confusing and exhausting. Counter to the aim of persuasion. (Ever try reading a book where the words fill the entire page, with no margins to speak of?)


Life can be like that…if you get too much stuff filling it, you will zone out, and just go through the motions or shut down altogether. Too much stuff, ordered and dictated by others, I mean.


Children need “blank space”. Everyone needs “blank space”. It’s the thing that frames the rest of your world. It’s sort of a personal time out, only one doesn’t necessarily “do nothing” in their moments of blank space. Sometimes it is letting the winds blow you where they will, like a sail boat, or browsing and musing. At other times, the driving force is not the winds, but a driving passion for something, like a rudder and a motor, with specific direction and speed.


It is during the “blank spaces” of your life that you are most at rest and at ease, or the most engaged; with time to contemplate and explore or become so excited you just have to share it with others. You feel compelled to pursue!


This is why I strongly disagree with long school days, and year-round schooling, unless there are good, long breaks without mandates by others.
Homework is a reasonable expectation, but the increased amount of busy work is unseemly, serving no real purpose.

Good “down time” is when one is allowed to pursue their own interests, unencumbered by what someone else thinks they should be learning about it.

• Reading a book for the sheer pleasure of it, without having to make notes and write papers and take tests over it.
• Endeavoring to build or create something without parameters set by someone else.
• Taking a walk in the snow and hearing the crunch, crunch, crunch, underfoot.
• Singing or humming because you feel a bit on the merry side of things, even if your voice isn't like a nightingale's.

It is during these moments that most people discover their own passions, and with enough blank space incorporated into their lives, they are more likely to achieve their goals. They are more able to embrace and exude happiness. They may develop an aura of achievement, highlighted by true accomplishments.


Discipline, in the sense of guidance and training, especially self-discipline, is extremely important, and I am in no way detracting from all it's requirements, virtues, and desirous results.


However, the necessity of putting in a good days work and working toward a disciplined excellence shouldn’t deny us from loose-ing ourselves from those bridles and running free in the fields once in a while (or even on a regular basis).

First Sounds....

Encouraging a good and clear sound for your child is important for communication skills; speaking, reading, and writing.

“We go to da pwaygwound” is only “cute” to you. To everyone else it sounds like the child needs speech therapy.




I babysat for a couple of little girls, and it took me weeks to decipher what they were saying. They spoke a lot, just not very clearly. Imagine what the impact is on a child when they begin to read and spell, and they see the word playground, not pwaygwound.




“Him has t’ go aside”--written, you can probably get the idea that a male (him)
needs to go outside. My little charge was trying to tell me that the puppy needed to go out to piddle, but she was running her words together and it wasn’t clear to me for a while what she meant. “Is for weez” was really “It’s for us”. Again, this may seem very cute and appropriate for a young age, BUT when she gets into class and has to form her sentences and write them, she will have to unlearn much of what has been re-enforced in her formative years. These little girls were clearly old enough to have their language corrected, but the parents thought it was cute.




Practice consonant and vowel sounds with them, long before you introduce the written concept. Making sure they can clearly hear and repeat a true sound, will help them when they need to write and read. Letting them continue to speak “baby-babble” is a true unkindness.




When introducing the written letters, it’s a good idea to have large flash cards and have the child trace the letters as you say them. First while looking at the letter, and then with their eyes closed. (You hold their hand and help them trace the letters in the same way that they would write them, for “t” the straight line down then add the cross bar) If you notice they continue to have confusion about certain letters, you can try a variety of methods to help. Scent. Are they confusing “b” and “d”? Try green apple for one, and peppermint for the other--making sure that you are saying the letter and the sound very clearly for each one. (Don’t forget to write down what scent you have used for which letters!) If that doesn’t work, try “writing” the letters on their back with your finger, again while saying the letters. Or tactile methods--make a fuzzy “b” and a sandpaper “d”, and have them trace it with their fingers. One of those three methods usually works, but there are others to try.




Hold up an apple and slowly say aaaaapppple, stressing the short "a" sound. When they repeat it, listen carefully that the “ple” doesn’t become “apuw”. If they are hearing something other than the “l”--quickly let them hear that sound separately…and then at the beginning of a word “love the baby”, “love”, apple. It can take time for a child to be able to distinguish sounds, or even for their little mouths to be able to make the sound correctly, so patience and perseverance is key.



Remember this is correction, not discipline…so the corrections should never have a negative connotation or impatient sounding voice.




How you hear a word in your head is how you will try to spell a word, and if you are saying a word incorrectly, you can’t even look it up in the dictionary.





Recommended Reading:
The Cheery Scarecrow
author/illustrator: Johnny Greulle
This is an adorable story with brilliant illustrations by the author of the famed Raggedy Ann and Andy books, though those two are not in this book.
Two children meet with talking scarecrow and have some refreshments with him...
this is a very old story and seems to be available in limited areas...some libraries list it though. Antiquarian shops or eBay often have a copy or two. Worth the effort to find this one.

Different is not necessarily wrong…..part II

As parents, we sometime chide ourselves for not giving our kids the same things we had as children. Some things are beyond our control, like grandparents living in different parts of the country, or even another country altogether. The world has gone through some changes since we ourselves were children, and our families certainly have gone through changes, so why would we think we should have the same family design as our parents did.


An example:
In my childhood household, my father would only have a live tree at Christmas time.
He detested even the idea of the artificial tree. We grew up thinking that we would give up gifts if it meant we couldn’t have a live tree. And it had to be the biggest floor to ceiling tree to be found.

In my own little family, though, we tried to keep up this tradition. My husband also preferred the real trees. I had learned, though, that there had been artificial trees for many, many years… They were feather trees, and other types of artificial trees, and many of those were tabletop trees.

I learned that Christmas trees in early years of our country were sold beyond Christmas, and into the New Year, because some folks couldn’t afford the trees until the prices fell low enough. Santa sometimes was delayed at poorer homes until late January! How many fires and injuries were due to having a real tree in the house and putting candles on it?

We had come to a point in our lives that we had very large active dogs, and a baby, and a collection of old ornaments that fit better on an artificial tree, as it had greater spacing between the branches. So we broke down and used a 5-foot artificial tree on top of a table. Guess what? We didn’t like it at first, but it was the best way to preserve the safety of the family, and we got used to it. It wasn’t as bad as we had thought it might be. Different wasn’t so bad after all.

How many families get into huge arguments over what traditions will be blended into their households? Each new family unit needs to allow themselves the luxury of forming new family traditions, and keeping the old ones when appropriate and agreed upon. I missed not going caroling (a childhood tradition with friends), but enjoyed celebrating the 12 days of Christmas (a newly adopted family tradition).

As a child we didn’t put up a Nativity, but in my own household, I had stumbled across an old handmade rustic “wood and stick” barn, and had assembled a variety of older mismatched figures from Italy, Germany, and France. We built up a great routine for the holiday season. Beginning shortly after Thanksgiving, the “day to day” portions of the Nativity were displayed, like the animals and the shepherds. As the month progressed, Mary and Joseph were placed far away from the Nativity, and moved a little closer day by day. Of course, Baby Jesus was not placed into the manger until Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning, and the Angels were now “round about”. Then we unpacked the 3 wise men, and they began their journey to bring gifts to the King, on Twelfth Night...the traditional day to take down the tree.
An interactive Nativity. We allowed our son to “play with” and rearrange the animals and the shepherds, but “Jesus” was not a toy. This was certainly different than my childhood, but it was definitely not wrong. We had hours of entertainment and it set the meaning of Christmas and the time frame a bit more strongly in all our minds.

Don’t let “traditions” rule over you…if they just can’t be done, or will not work for you, let them go. If you can revive one on an occasional basis, great--if you can’t--LET IT GO! If you can’t celebrate Christmas on Christmas--find another day that works--it’s the spirit of Christmas and the Birth of OUR SAVIOUR we celebrate--not a day on the calendar!

Recommended Reading: The Christmas Tree Book
author: Philip V. Snyder
This is a wonderful book to read before the coming holidays. It is full of wonderful photos.
It may even help you identify some of your grandmother's ornaments. This is not a price guide.
It is a history of everything on the tree, the tree itself, and under the tree. You will see how the wars affected the production and distribution of beautiful glass balls, metal reflectors, lights, etc.
It will even explain why the production of the light bulb influenced our tree decorations, and NOT just with electric lights. It covers many countries, England, Germany, France, Japan,Italy and the US. This is one of my favorite books for Christmas Tree history........

Indian Corn is Outside the Box

I spent much of my childhood in a small rural community just outside of Lincoln, Nebraska.
My father was an avid and prolific organic gardener, who also wrote for Mother Earth News, and Organic Gardening magazines.
There was a point in time where a local farmer and my father were enjoying a conversation about traditional farming vs. organic methods. The farmer shared the following story with my Dad…



The farmer explained that he was a corn farmer and that things had been rough for his family. One autumn he had taken his family to purchase a pumpkin and some Indian corn for decorations during the Halloween and Thanksgiving holidays. While at the little roadside stand, the farmer began making a mental note of how much money was exchanging hands for each of the Indian Corn ears.
After returning home with their goods, the farmer did a little more thinking… and calculating.
He decided to try to partake of the windfall profits that the harvest decoration suppliers were raking in (compared to the price of a bushel of corn).
He and his family determined to take a very small portion of their land and put it into Indian Corn.
To his great surprise and amazement, his neighboring corn farmers scorned and ridiculed him for dabbling in such things!
He had the last laugh though, on his way to Hawaii with his family for a vacation. One that was well deserved and long overdue, AND wouldn’t have been possible without the crazy Indian corn field.
Even after the farmer's great success with the Indian corn, the nay-sayers still scoffed at him.


Of course, if EVERY farmer in same vicinity decided to grow the Indian corn, I don’t know if there would have been a large enough market to accommodate a handsome profit to all, but why should the others hold the innovative farmer in
such disregard.


The farmer had demonstrated courage to try something new, to take a (calculated) risk--one that would not harm his regular operation at all--and accepted the chiding by his neighbors--while on the way to the bank.


My father often referred to this little conversation, and I think that it helped him become a greater risk taker. In later years he was more likely to trust his own hunches and judgments and disregard the opinions of nay-sayers.


A case in point--at a charity yard auction my father spied a decorative metal bowl with some odd writing on it. He brought it over to me and asked my opinion of it. I thought that if it hadn’t had the strange writing on it, it would have been more appealing. I suggested that he put it back.

(This was not an “auction” in the ordinary sense, one would go up an down aisles and rows of bins and place items they were considering in a cardboard box. When you had what you were interested in, you would take it to the cashiers for a “price”--sometimes they would dicker with you, and sometimes they would stand firm in their price.)


My father did put it back as I had suggested, but went right back to it and brought it to me again. He insisted that I take a second look at it--he felt it might be real solid silver. At that, I took a second look, and said, perhaps it was, but no one would want it with all that crazy writing on it, and it was only suitable for scrap. He put the bowl back--again.


I was surprised when my father returned to tell me he had purchased his whole box of items, including that silly bowl, for about $5.00. He said we wouldn’t be out anything if it was “nothing”, but he really had a feeling about it.


By this time, I had sort of had a change of heart about the bowl. I really began to study it. It had a decorative chased rim--which I later discovered through a little research was called “niello”--which had real gold on it. The strange writing I at first thought was possibly Hebrew,though I found a Jewish friend who ruled that out, but he couldn’t place the language either. Then we thought perhaps it was Arabic. It didn’t seem to be that either. We put it out for sale at $50 the very first day, before we even had had time to research it. One woman who had asked about it was shocked and horrified that we were asking such an unseemly price and "hmmpphhed" at us and stormed off as if we had insulted her intelligence by asking such a price.


The item seemed to be attracting a lot of attention, from other dealers, as well as customers, much more so than other decorative bowls we had sold.
I was frankly a little put out with the haughty woman who refused to pay $50 for a solid silver decorative bowl.


I decided to hang on to it and really do some research on it. The internet was not quite so available at that time, so I had to do my research through books and other friends who might help.


I never could discover the language on the bowl--the eventual buyer of it agreed to tell me after I delivered the bowl to his upscale antique shop. He paid quite a goodly sum to us--in the hundreds of dollars--and disclosed the reason we couldn’t identify the language was that it was a form of Sanskrit!


We don’t know what he ended up selling the bowl for--but we made a very nice increase on our investment…and we imagine he did too!

So what does this have to do with parenting?


Teach your children to think for themselves and not be guided by others limited thought. There are many ways to demonstrate this…a piece of paper becomes an airplane that can fly across the room, or a fan, or a snowflake…


What else can I do with this? What things are other people doing that I might take advantage of? What things are going on that others are missing? Pay attention…there are many things happening all around us everyday that we choose to ignore, and sometimes, wrongfully, belittle.

Recommended Reading: My Side of the Mountain
author: Jean Craighead George
Still one of my all time favorite books. It also became one of my son's favorite books.
I read it every summer as a kid.
A young boy runs away to live in the wilds of his ancestral family home in the mountains...builds an unusual house, provides his own food, and adopts an interesting "pet". The background "nature" info is great! The author has a website with a video describing the book and how she came to write the book.